That capsule of condensed filth that calls itself Christián and I were discussing mild philosophy a few minutes ago. He claimed that two things he ponders on consistently are: - Whatever you are doing now is the meaning of your life. - Wherever you go, there you are. I'm a fan of both views of life. In fact, they are intimately entwined, and, as Shambal claims, *Intimacy is the flower that blooms from cruelty*. Taken from a modern viewpoint, both of these views cruelly elide ideas risen on pedestals by ou...
Like every day lately, earlier in the afternoon, I took my twelve day old bicycle out for spin. I shambled up the incline of a mini-mountain to a disheveled vineyard. The trunks and stalks of barren grape bushes twisted and groped towards me, towards the sky and towards each other. Apparently, it's not grape season. My ride today was brief and I believe the reason was lethargy. Still, it's always thrilling to be out in the air, alone in a capsule as I merge with the elements. My awareness is always heighten...
Shambal grunted and turned onto his side from a torpid, supine night. He reached over to nastily clutch his she-goat's porous flesh, but grasped only the rough, tangled blankets. The she-goat wasn't there. Had he dreamed her all along? But the morning spring in his brain began to wind and he remembered the night before. His niggard had assured him that the she-goat'd be taken to Dunkirk for repairs. Damn biological failings! he screeched silently to himself. First thing in the morning, usually, the she-go...
Who was that Gina Hammond, actually? Was she named after the organ that defined a certain sound of the seventies? I suggest that, were the timelines different, she'd have been named by the progeny of Keith, who is dead. Yes, Christián reminded me that Keith is dead another time today. No, not Keith Teal, but Keith Emerson. You know - the keyboard dude. Gina Hammond was a **Bond** fan. I know personally because she loaned me six or seven **Bond** films in 1986 (or thereabouts). They tooted my muffin, but th...
Another one from *The Buried Giant*: > Those weathered women with their flapping rags were once innocent maidens, some possessing beauty and grace, or at least the freshness that will often serve as well in a man’s eye. Desperate men lower their standards. That one is a well-worn platitude to be sure. At his current point, Christián will take most any creature with a cunt to compensate his *enforced* chastity. Hah! **Enforced!** The purpose of the quote is not to berate Christián's methods, but to illustr...
> Go round and round the wagon, because you’re the mule tethered to the big wheel. Shambal does as the crone asks. He always does what the crone asks. She'd be dead soon, anyhow, so what did it really matter? And, besides, her cleft is all that tangibly remains of nostalgia that engulfs him hourly. In an extended adolescence, or a dream, he cannot recall which, he imagined himself at his current age. The term that bounced around in his mind was *dirty old man*. All his compatriots (that's what they were, r...
One of the slipping points of a relationship, methinks, is the point a couple reaches at which they simply accept each others' gush of erroneous data. I see now, in magnificent hindsight, plenty of places in past shindigs I stopped attempting to, as the trollops say, *put my mates in their places intellectually*. In part, I knew they resented me taking the role of *the teacher*. **EVERY** girlfriend / boyfriend / wife / husband / stoat does. Managing the vast, grey area between *instruction* and *kind corre...
I sat at this table last year writing. I believe also the year before. It is long and wooden. It can seat twenty or more humans. It those cases, I wonder about those crowded out and their feelings of exclusion. I, for one, am crowded out even when six or seven sit at the table. I'm only on the inside when I am the only one. Like now. Repeating conversations about the drudgery of working life fill my ears. Not exactly at this moment, I say, but at many others during my existence in Spain. I understand the s...
Sergio sent a simple, mostly repeating electric piano motif to the *Whatsapp* group *GOLD GUNNERS*. I am a part of this group because I have been *helping* (I use this term very loosely) Dani on a film project to be submitted to somesuch contest later this year. I am an *actor* and a *proofreader* so far. A chance that some of my music will be included in the final product is also possible. Sergio sent a simple, mostly repeating electric piano motif to the *Whatsapp* group *GOLD GUNNERS* yesterday afternoo...
> But then again I wonder if what we feel in our hearts today isn’t like these raindrops still falling on us from the soaked leaves above, even though the sky itself long stopped raining. I’m wondering if without our memories, there’s nothing for it but for our love to fade and die. I am in the midst of reading *The Buried Giant* by Kazuo Ishiguro. I delight in, apart from the story itself, his diction and syntax. I usually read each paragraph at least twice to drink in first the meaning, then to allow the...
I began reading an article on *gynocentrism* and was inspired to cough out a few paragraphs. I am yet to complete the article, but shall soon after typing a bit. I have often faced *White Knight* syndrome during my life and hold it in high contempt. The kind of sexism it brandishes is usually beyond reproach, especially in the repellent nation in which I was raised. Still, I have always found traces in myself. I was, after all, raised in the *south* of a nation-state discriminating against yet at the same...
