Perhaps it is the fact that I have been fed constantly since returning. I feel the weight press in my hara. I clumsily wander the house. Now I sit up in bed. It is 19.35 and I am considering remaining in the same place for the remainder of the evening.
I think to myself that soon I’ll have the experience of actually missing the feeling of hunger. It never occurs here. I am perpetually sated. Unhealthiness shall follow, for there is no opportunity to exercise. I need escape. Soon.
So, as my mind is muddled, unclear, unsharp - most likely from the same catalysts that begot my physical lackadaisicalness - I shall watch a film. Perhaps it will pull me in. Another world? Another time? Escape. Soon.